By You Zi

Not long after I became a monastic disciple, I once felt enraged with a brother over a trivial matter. I refused to listen to him, telling myself that I had good reason to do that. (Such behavior is common among new monastic disciples who understand little but believe that they are right.) Master, however, had instructed us that new monastics should listen to the senior ones. I knew in my heart that whether I was right or wrong, it was that brother who was in charge and responsible for the work, and that I should not argue. "Yet, I'm not convinced," I thought, "Master is a Buddha. She is fair and treats all people as equals, no matter who they are." Nevertheless, I felt uneasy and was afraid that Master would learn about this incident.

After group meditation that evening, Master delivered Her lecture as usual, and made no mention of it. I felt relieved. Then, just as She came down the stage and passed by my side, She pointed at me and said, "I'll tell you what it means to be fair. God and the Saints give people just the right measure according to their needs. Not everyone receives an equal share. That is true fairness and equality." The truth struck me with a great impact and my face turned pale from the shock. How direct it was! She knew everything that was in my mind. This is only one of many such stories that I could relate about Master.

Master is a Mirror

Many fellow practitioners have had this experience - that of old bad thoughts coming back when we do not recite the Holy Names, which we should, when we are with Master. The mind ignores us even when we ask it not to think that way. When we are not busy while in Master's proximity, She becomes a mirror that reflects our inner world and lets us see clearly who we are. Her magnetic field cleanses away our dirt. It took me one whole year of being with Master to be able to hold my mind in check and feel at ease. The closer I am to Master, the more comfortable I feel, and the easier it is to enter samadhi.

Master is Eager to Let Us
Know the Truth

Looking back, I think that the happiest times the monastic disciples had with Master were in 1990, during a retreat in Haocha village in southern Formosa. Master was with us every day of the retreat. We meditated as we wished during the day. At night, we lit bonfires, sang songs, performed dramas, and listened to Master tell stories. How beautiful those times were! Master said, "If anyone asks you why you became a renunciate, you can say you came to be pampered by Master." At the retreat, we forgot all our troubles and our hearts opened up. Actually there was more to this than met the eye. Through playing games, we became totally relaxed. Our hearts opened up completely, so that Master's love could easily permeate and purify our souls. One evening, Master invited us to join Her voluntarily to have a bonfire. Some disciples did not come but meditated by themselves instead. "I play a clown to make you happy so that you are open enough to receive the Master-power in your hearts, so that your consciousness can be raised. But you do not come," Master cried.

During the retreat, many of us realized what being empty meant. Sometimes we call emptiness by other names - the Truth or the God nature. We can see and hear it during initiation. We know its existence from meditation. But we cannot distinguish between the mind and the real self when performing daily chores or making decisions. We were so happy then to realize this "emptiness." Our view of the world changed completely. We became more self-confident and could think more clearly when making decisions. However, most of us were not ready at the time. I, for one, was not diligent enough and sometimes did not listen to the inner power, so the power weakened gradually. It was just as Master said, "It is easy to become enlightened. But it is difficult to remain enlightened."

In June of 1994, we were in Thailand. Late at night, Master asked us to accompany Her to a nightclub. We were surprised. Thinking that She must have some new ideas, we went with Her, eagerly anticipating something unusual. After we arrived, we ordered some drinks. A waitress in a black and white dress came to serve us. "That's like the black and white angel (from hell)," Master remarked. I glanced at the waitress casually and was immediately attracted by her beautiful looks. I warned myself, "How can you behave like this? You are here with Master!" I tried to turn my attention inward. But Master seemed to have noticed it and invited the waitress to have a drink with me. I was very embarrassed. Fortunately, there was a rule at the nightclub that waitresses could not sit with guests. I was relieved. This was the lesson of constant vigilance that I learned we should maintain when we are with Master.

We had arrived late at the nightclub, and it was near closing time. When the singers had finished singing, Master chatted with them. They came from different countries, such as the USA, Canada, and the Philippines. One of them seemed especially close to Master. They talked like old friends. Master took off all the jewelry She was wearing on Her hands and presented it to the singer, who then asked for Master's name. "My name is not important," Master replied. We laughed and thought, "How can You say it is not important when one can contact God through Your name?" Master had come that night especially to see that singer. We do not know what kind of special affinity she shared with Master or what she had prayed for that Master had to come and see her personally. Only Master and God know.

In 1989, Master went on Her first public lecture tour. In one of the countries She visited, Master and some initiates (most of whom were lay disciples) went to a theater. I had been a monastic disciple for less than one year at the time and thought that Master needed to reduce stress in mind and body by rest and recreation just like most ordinary folks. I was totally lost in the singing and dancing, and was transported back to the imperial courts of ancient times. I became an onus for Master. When the show ended, the performers wanted to learn with Master, and some requested initiation. It was then that we realized Master had not gone there for the show, but to deliver the people.

These kinds of examples are many, such as when Master wears beautiful clothes in order to attract sentient beings, to remind them of the visions they have seen in their dreams or the scenes they were familiar with in previous lifetimes. It is so She can awaken our inner power. We are totally ignorant if we criticize Master for this. How can Master's heart be bound by these material things? If so, She could not be a Master. It is we who use our human minds to measure God's will.

It was my first year as a monastic disciple, and my birthday was approaching. I wanted to transfer the merits derived from a whole day of meditation to my parents. When the day came, a fellow brother came to me and said, "Master said that She does not want to see you today. Go and hide yourself. Make sure She does not see you." Surprised, I hid in my tent and meditated the whole day. This was what I had wanted, wasn't it? But to tell the truth, that was very stupid and selfish of me. I had lost the chance to serve the public. Master had reason to be angry with such a stupid disciple.

Everyone learns different lessons with Master. She once emphasized, "The main point is to have the right concept." She said that usually it takes thousands of years or several lifetimes for a person to learn a right concept. But we all know from experience that by learning with Master, we can shorten our training process by many lifetimes.