One of my children, recently, she took leave from school to come and play. Because I cannot accompany and play with her everyday, since I am busy with you, she had been enjoying only the air conditioner with the attendant. She did not bring many toys with her, only a few books to draw in. She had said she felt bored and wanted to go back to school.
Wherever I go I bring her along. This is playing with her! I came here to group meditation and also asked her if she wanted to come along. I say to her, "Let's go together!" She puts on a pretty dress and feels that I am taking her out to play. This is a convenient trick. Making the best of the situation to be with the child is playing, and the child enjoys being with us.
Explaining some things to her when the occasion arises, asking her to help me carry this book, she feels that she has accomplished a lot in being able to help me. Asking her to help pull the zips, to help me put on the bangles is playing with her while teaching her to be a grown-up.
I do not play chess or play the electro-mechanical toys with her everyday. No, no. Our way of playing is different. I can work and play at the same time with her. For instance, while I am reading the newspapers, I would say, "Now I am reading the newspapers, you read your books over there. Let's read together." This way, she is already happy. Like two adults reading the newspapers. Perhaps I would ask her, "Can you understand this book? Read whatever you understand and practice your English." We both would think of a way to play.
It is not just playing with dolls or stuffed bears from morning until night that children consider playing, or that taking here do not have the time, we think of many ways of playing: for instance, cooking with her, teaching her to wash the vegetables. When I do not have the time, I let the attendant look after her, to be her baby-sitter. While washing clothes, she brings her along and tell her to do some washing. Now, she is washing one of her socks everyday. (Laughter) She told me, "Today I have work to do, washing socks and then help sweep the floor a little." In this way, the child is very happy.
Find ways for them to play. Playing is not just going out to buy many expensive toys all the time. On the contrary, if you bring them along more often while working, their IQ will improve; they will become smarter, livelier and more careful. Also, they will understand the parents' work more. Later, you will be able to communicate with them easily. Whatever you say they will understand your problem. Later, when you tell them how hard you had worked the day before, and so on, they will understand and will empathize with you. If you lock a child up and let her play while you work by yourself, then sometimes the parents are not able to communicate with her because she does not know what the parents had been doing.
You can try to find ways to play with small children. It is very simple! Sometimes helping me take my socks off, carry a pair of shoes -- carry it up, carry it down. This is one of the ways to play with children. Of course, I can do it myself or ask the attendant to do it. I can also just leave them there and soon someone will straightened them up. But I want to involve the child, so I tell her, "Help me carry this up. Help me carry that down! Later, we have non-alcoholic beer together." For example like that, and this would be very interesting for her.
Then, we each grab a bag of rice biscuits. She likes rice biscuits very much. Well, I would say, one bag each, open it and then go choose whatever drink you like. It becomes a game. How else could I have time to play with her? We can also play during breakfast. We race each other to see who finishes breakfast first, etc. That is fun. She likes it.
Young children do not demand much. As long as we pay attention to them, share with them, they are happy already. They do not ask for dolls everyday. Because no one plays with them, then they play with dolls. This is just a very small part.
In this way, she is already very happy -- to be able to spend time with me is enough, no matter what we do. As a result, she practices the spirit of serving people. She feels very proud helping me carry a book, carry my shoes up and down, helping me to carry an umbrella, or whatever. I can do these things myself, but she feels a sense of accomphishment, like an adult.
When we both have a bag of rice biscuit, sitting on the floor, each of us opens up a drink, which I let her choose. I open the refrigerator and say, "Take whatever drink you like." She feels that she has already grown up! I don't force her and say you should drink this or that. No, no. She knows that she cannot drink milk everyday. She'd get tired of it. Thus, I tell her to choose a can and I would also choose one. Then, we drink to each other's health and would eat and have a chat like two adults entertaining each other. I do not know your definition of playing. I feel that we both could play all day long. Many things can be played. She is very happy.
As children grow older, the more you share with them the happier they are. Not that you buy many toys for them that they are happy. If you play with them, then they are happy! Of course, they like toys, too, but toys cannot replace the parents' love. If you play with them everyday, talk with them more, explain to them more, they will become very smart and be one with the parents. When they grow up they will be like friends, because they have been with the parents. Whatever you do, they know. You just mention it, they understand. No need to wait until they grow up because by then it would be very difficult to explain if you were not used to communicating, only throwing toys at them.
Though I do not have the time, but because of the child, I have to take up the responsibility. Her parents died. She only has me left. Thus, I try to think of ways to play with her. Playing should not have to be toys or going to the park. I can play with her everyday, whenever I have the time. I can tickle her. She loves it very much. I can throw her onto the bed. Wow! She loves it! Sometimes we play 'skating'. I pull her by the hands and skate and skate. This is called skating. But playing this way is very tiring. It needs strong muscles. We play this occasionally, so she was not tired of it. I skate once or twice and wanted to 'slip' away (laughter). (Skate and slip away sound similiar in Chinese) She weighs twenty-something kilos, and I am only, at most, twice her weight. We can play with anything. Using a pen to draw, teach her to color many things. With just a pen, we can play a lot of things. Like drawing things for her to guess, she loves it.
As long as the parents accompany the child, he/she enjoy it no matter what you play. Small children like us to pay attention to them and share with them. No matter what you play, they will enjoy it. Small children are very curious about the world, since they do not know it. Thus, whatever method of play -- I didn't have toys to play with when I was young. I created my own way -- drawing, playing chess, jumping around, or play with chopsticks. Many things can be played. Why the need of toys? Also, no need for a lot of space. Great, now you understand!
You May Not Know
Saintly Humility