Special
Reports
The
Holy Family
By
Sister Initiate Velma, Indiana, USA (Originally in English)
It
was my first retreat since initiation one month before and I was captivated
by the sea of faces from around the world - many thousands of them.
Not "them" but "us," and that was significant
for I am now a member of this special "holy family." Normally,
I feel afraid when I am among "strangers" and prefer to
be alone in terms of lodging; however, there were no strangers here.
People I had never met, from countries that were only spots on a map,
radiated warmth that only comes from the heart of a family, and I
knew that I belonged. The simple salutations "Sister" or
"Brother" stirred an emotion in me I have never felt before
and I realized that they were genuine. Regardless of nationality,
prior spiritual experience, or living circumstance, every female has
the same name, "Sister"; every male has the same name, "Brother".
The feeling I had when those words were spoken told me I was with
my brothers and sisters; the retreat was a family affair and the head
of the household was Master, or as one initiate called Her, "Master
Mom."
We
were involved in our shared silence and secret experiences when our
beloved Supreme Master Ching Hai arrived. Donned in Christmas colors,
white pants and red top, She moved quickly and attentively through
the crowd, waving, shaking hands, and touching some as She passed.
I felt the beating of my heart as She neared me. I was just coming
out of where my mind had drifted - the fear that I could not keep
up with the pace and physical demands that intensive meditation would
place on my body. I could only take it moment to moment, not one day,
but one session at a time. I was given the "amen" by God
when I felt Master's presence as spiritual and physical reinforcement
of power.
Then
the unbelievable happened. She touched ME - a light tap on my shoulder
and one on my upper arm and to my greater surprise, tears rolled from
my eyes. Relieved of "something" I knew not what, I knew
I would never be the same again. I was "in all the way."
Thanks, Master, and thank You, God for reassuring me I was in the
right place, at the right time, and doing the right thing for my spiritual
progress.
Attending
the sessions, I paid attention to the heartfelt questions asked of
Master, and noted the attention, warmth, and especially the patience
of Her responses. One thing She said rings over and over and over
in my mind. It was not new to my spiritual or intellectual understanding,
or perhaps even new to my soul, but it sure felt like it. It was a
statement of the life I lead now.
She
was referencing the words of Jesus, Matthew 6:33, "Seek ye first
the kingdom of God and it's righteousness, and other things shall
be added." Then She said words to the effect, regarding meditation
and material things or experiences. "Look, I'll make it simple.
If you don't go within, you go without." It was a simple truth
that struck me like lightning. In my life, I had gone without: without
friends, without love for myself, without happiness, without the ability
to speak up about abuse I had experienced, without sufficient nourishment,
without the know-how to handle my marriage or other personal relations,
without funds, without fun, without seeing the "light at the
end of the tunnel". Although much has been resolved, still there
are some things I am going "without," but the good news
is that I am not living my life - without Master.
Seemingly
to seal that declaration, I was moved, when after the last session,
Master was waving and shaking the hands that stuck out of the "sea"
of initiates as She made Her way from the meditation hall. I was smiling,
joyful in my heart that I had made it to the end, when She approached
the section where I was standing. To my surprise, She stepped forward
and offered Her hand to me and I was blessed again. In that moment,
I knew more absolutely than ever that I was "in" all the
way. I am grateful that God has led me to such a wonderful group,
with such a loving, compassionate, caring leader, the Supreme Master
Ching Hai.
