During
the Korean segment of Master's 1993 World Lecture Tour, lectures were scheduled
in Pusan on May 8 and in Seoul on May 15. I was five months pregnant, and
not so healthy at that time. Lacking in self-confidence, and even though my
mind was full of thoughts that I should be helping Master, I worried that
my poor English might do harm to sentient beings, and I wanted to escape using
my health condition as an excuse.
The first
day, since my thinking was not positive, a member of the audience was chosen
to do the translation at the last moment. I helped her on the side. The next
morning, when a Quan Yin messenger scolded my poor work and told me that I
alone should be in charge of the oral translation, I burst into tears. "How
can I do such a job? Why does such difficult work come to me?" I sobbed in
the corner during meditation, and earnestly prayed for Master's help. At a
gathering time with initiates, when Master saw my nervous and dispirited face,
She said, "You're not dying." After I spent a day with infinite blessings
and guidance from Master, I said to myself, "Master, I need a big scolding!"
A few days
later, the day before the lecture in Pusan. During group meditation, Master
attacked my unrelieved ego using Manjushri Bodhisattva's sword and the roaring
tiger method. She had accepted my prayer! I translated Master's words to fellow
initiates with tears in my eyes. After the group meditation while on the way
to Master's place, for no reason, I felt like I was walking on air. For many
months, unknown oppression had caused difficulty in my breathing, and often
I shed tears with a broken heart even when I saw a clear sky or beautiful
flowers. Now, I felt like those burdens had been removed and I was on cloud
nine. And although alone, I giggled in spite of myself.
When I arrived,
Master looked at me. I bowed like a kindergarten child, and said with a big
smile, "Thank You, Master." She gave me a broad smile and said, "You always
give me trouble." I was so thankful to Her for enduring everything in order
to get rid of my ego and fear, and cut the chains that bound me I knew I could
not possibly do it, and now I would devote my life to Her.
The next day,
at the lecture in Pusan, covered by Master's infinite protective blessing,
I translated without any fear. After I had finished my work, Master congratulated
me with a wink. I knew that I had translated everything correctly even though
there were a few words I didn't know. I confirm that I did the work under
Her infinite protection and grace.
From that
time on, when I sometimes make small mistakes in doing Her work, I promise
myself that I will not make the same mistakes again, but I never fear anything
or want to escape. I now devote my life to Master in gratitude, for giving
me the gifts of infinite love and freedom. Thank You, Master. 
Truth-Sharing
: Observation And Growth 
